Tuesday, October 25, 2016


Stop it!

Stop staring at me like that, god(s of darkness)dammit!

All squatting there in the shadows, tails twitching slowly back and forth like so many pendulums over a pit, silently judging me for the dearth of forthcoming final TGND Halloween post content treats. . .  just like the staring green eyes of the otherwise unseen black cat lurking within the inky darkness on the front of this year's Halloween card Mizmstie and I sent out to the nieces and nephew!

Well if you and the kids are gonna stare into this here abyss, the abyss he is going to stare right back into you! Like so!:

How do you like them candied apples?   

'Tis a treat hunting rendition of the cats, demanding sweet sugary tribute . . . or else!

Perhaps a closer peek, as we extend our shaking, candy-laden hands within biting distance for the bag drop:

BEWARE! Ply them not with toothbrushes nor boxes of raisins, lest ye incur the bloodthirsty wrath of Count Peanut-cula and endure the haunting yowls of the Bansh-Harv-ee!

Now piss off and leave me alone! If there's to be any fond fear-well posts for TGND's last ever October and All Hallow's Eve, I'm gonna need rest-in-peace and as-the-grave quiet around here!

You heard me, you infuriating fuzzballs -- SCAT ! 



Monday, October 10, 2016


Greetings, my Outlaws.

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember you -- and you Lurkie-Loos, too -- future events such as these will affect you in . . . the future. My friends, can your hearts stand the shocking facts about-

9th WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES (from outer space) ?? *

* lines gleefully cribbed and mangled from the woeful works of Ed D. Wood, Jr.

Yes, my friends, it is time to bring you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal, as Mizmstie and I celebrate a date of intergalactically incomprehensible proportions: our 9th year of wedded bliss!

And so, as a testament to our shambling, undying love, and in consideration of our mutual (and Mizmstie's especially) love of bad old sci-fi/horror movies, there could be only one possible plan of attack when it came to devising this year's commemorative drawing:

"Year 9 From Outer Space", artwork and characters copyright (c) Hyla Tracy II, 2016.

A black-(and white)-as-pitch-perfect rendition of an iconic poster for the infamous "Plan 9 From Outer Space"! 

That adapted image being this one:

And if I even have to explain what the hell "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is, I don't even know what the hell you're doing on this blog in the first place. You have wandered far from your home planet, and it is not safe for you here. Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots.

And, as usual, with my version featuring the crewmates of my own incomprehensible on hiatus outer space comic SHOTGUNSOUL as our understudy poster impostors, with Cappy as Tor Johnson, Canny as his victim damsel, Rumba as Vampira, and if you squint or click on the drawing to expand to full size, you can see Jib & Pepe piloting the graveyard reanimating flying saucers.

What you can't see is the back, where I wrote some fitting Criswell-esque words to my wife.

. . .

Eh, to hell with transcribing; here, yes, you can see the back:

Yes. For nine years, this is what she has lived with.

But think not she suffers alone; I have my own cardboard cross to bear, as you can see from what she herself inscribed within her anniversary card to me, which had on its front a drawing of a pasty young prince like person with a rabbit sitting within his crown, and the legend "I love every hare on your head" :

See? She drewed me a bunny. It won't look at me. Do you not see how I suffer?

My friend, you have seen this incident based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn't happen? Perhaps on your way home someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it, for they will be . . . having their anniversary.

God help us in the future . . . 



Monday, October 3, 2016


AAaaa-OOOO-woo-OOO . . . !

Ye dark gods! What is that unsettling sound? 

Is it the wailing of the waning post-summer warmth, being driven out in twisting gusts and gales by the in rushing autumnal chill? The shuddersome pre-Halloween hail of an awakening, winter coat sprouting werewolf?

-- But NO

It is the sorrowful, soul sick moan of some poor soul with a big hollow belly and an unheeded sweet tooth!

Sweet Kettleina, THATGALAXYNEXTDOOR's beloved H-ween candy cauldron, what ails you so? Could it be that time at last? Why, yes! In fact, it's two days overdue, for it is now officially October! Which means my wife's uncompromising barbarous ban on seasonal sweets is no longer in effect! Which means-

- it's  CAND-DAY!

Indeed, me and the missus just got back from our anti-grocery run, on a glorious early October day with the first bloodstain blush of changing leaves beginning to blot the boughs overhead, and scant scatterings of their dry brown brethren a-crunch underfoot, bearing with us a sinful sack full of tricksy treats!

Quick, let us lay them out on the kitchen table and bask-


What the hell is that healthy shit doing in my candy display space?

You apples'll get your rosy red asses out of there if you know what's bad for you!

Ahh, that's better . . . Behold, my Infernal Outlaws: the Corpus Delecti-ble!

We stuck to our guns on securing a hand picked selection of candies this year instead of simply picking up a pair of value pack grab bags and putting up with the 1/3 content of unwanted stowaways, such as Whoppers and their icksome ilk:

For Mizmstie's specific selections, we have in the upper left, a small sack of fun size 100 Grand bars! And, in the lower right, her other hand picked option, a pack of little square chewy Kraft Caramels!

And on that flavor note, as our middle of the road confection concession, we dually agreed on a smallish mixed bag of caramel packed bite sized candy bits, including Milky Ways, Milky Way Simply Caramels, Snickers, and Twix!

As for my choice of shriek for joy sweets, I have something I spotted but set aside last year: Reese's Snack Size Peanut Butter Ghosts! Wooo!

And lastly -- but, oh, so far from leastly! -- my final word on candy cauldron fodder: a bulging value pack sack featuring tombstone shaped Hershey Milk Chocolate and Hershey Cookies 'n' Cream bars, and Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins -- a similar selection, it seems, to one of the mixed bags we picked up last year, but! with one devilishly divine distinction . . .


Indeed, Ossie, my Quest For Horrah Monster of Scarimonies -- even I could not even! -- and likewise did fall to pieces at the sight of such an unprecedented Halloween blasphemiracle!

And now 'tis time to fill our empty Kettleina to her buxom brim with this year's booey-gooey recipe for tombstone teeth and gaping red smiles from ear to ear!

HA!  You've got your work cut out for you this October, you tine-handlebarred torture rack!

I'll be biting into this candy, and you can be biting my ass!

. . .

Which you already do! Which is why we bought that stupid strapped on seat cover!